The Great Song

The Great Song

I sucked in the silver of the stars and tasted the white of the moon as they slid down liquid into my soul. I felt the greatness—the greatness of God. I shifted on the ground—connecting to the smallness of me. A shedding skin human—dependent on the Spirit surrounding me.

I glanced at my dad, hugging the same earth in the same shedding skin as me. His iron-clad jaw tilted upward.

Daddy is that your stubbornness or is that determination? I’m your flesh and blood and that  same stubborn spirit snuck into my dna—chiseled smooth by years of opposition like a stone pounded by a river.  

I came to Corona today to visit my dad in the barn loft he moved into owned by his landlord and friend, Mr. Ellis, who suggested we go to the nearby hills. The dew of the night air caressed my skin. Far from city lights and bustling bodies I felt at peace.

Mr. Ellis said, “Why don’t we sing. How Great Thou Art.”

I sang it my way. God speaks my language:

Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder

Consider all the worlds Your hands have made

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder

Your power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to You

How great You are How great You are

I looked at my dad and saw an invisible cloud of grace that seemed to surround him—it smothered him in greatness like clean pure air after a storm. I felt connected to my dad at this moment on this hill and continue to visit the memory every time I hear this song. 

Daddy, remember when I was twelve and you held my hand. I felt connected to you for the first time in my life. I have felt the gentle hand of this God, the Eternal One. Only, He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” What was it that wounded your spirit so to stop believing grace. You’re free now daddy, free from the shell that smothered you. I closed your eyes in death, closed your eyes to the pieces of your life. Those stones that were so heavy you dropped with your last breath. My wounds have healed and I can say thunderously, How great my Father God is.

 I love you Daddy, I forgive you.

Your daughter,

Annie

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